Love tree & Lovers -I

   This entry is the third part of my friendship introductions. It is focused on topic of Love-mates, which is so wide topic to discuss. Love in general, in all kind of relationships, is unique feeling, that is one of the main causes of heart opening, expansion and spiritual development. Love –lessons are so big variety and so colorful, like the stars in all universe, the same as people themselves are unique individuals. Everyone brings with him from past lives his private love-lessons (and love mirrors), that continue throughout the time until the lesson is learned. It`s not easy to learn a love lesson, and usually –if we like it or not –it happens with painful experiences, overcoming fears, broken heart and standing for ones values.

   Love is from one side very complex and complicated feeling. Here I speak about the romantic love and attraction; even in this attraction there are plenty of shades and colors –the many shades are in color red – green –blue – the same are included in the love feeling. We can feel amazing variety of emotions to one person, even amazing combinations like – attraction and hatred, sympathy and contempt…That’s caused from the unique combinations of different people in one. From another side love is very simple feeling – implementing the past –present and future experiences on a soul level, developing qualities like forgiveness, compassion, trust. Love is the creating force of the universe.

Here I want to speak more about love-mates, or love connections, relationships and unions we have with people around. Then I`ll observe some kind of relations and kind of people – compared with animal and insect world.

I want to determine – regardless of the relationships colors and feelings – the basis of all love-mates should be friendship. That doesn’t mean you have to marry your best friend –not at all; it means that you need to develop friendship qualities in your perfect love relationship. Without that basis the whole building will fall down sooner or later.

If we see the love-relationship as growing beautiful tree (I love this comparison), then the roots are the friendship basis of this tree. All relationships – love or friendship –need many kinds of Care, love and sacrifice in order to grow. The friendship roots for the love-tree are shown in the qualities (which I discussed in previous parts) – sharing – honesty – trust.

The first component of all relationship-trees is sharing. Without it no closer connection can be accomplished. Sharing is the basis of the open heart, attachment, seeing the other with eyes of love, accepting another as yourself.  To find out if your love-mate tree has strong roots, answer the following questions:

1. Do you share your feeling and emotions with your partner in any time without fear of judgment? Do you feel free to share if you feel negative emotions sadness, anger, disappointment? Are you free to share with him joy, happiness, love?
2. do you share common interest with your love-mate? Do you have at least 3 common hobbies or passions together? Do you devote time together for that interests?
3. Sharing music – as the music is one of the most universal love-languages – do you like to share music with your partner? Do you like the same style music or different? How many times do you listen to music together? Dance together? What do you think about music style he enjoys?
4. Sharing joyful moments in social situations; This is quite important for the good relationship. We all can have lovely moments of intimacy together – but in front of people you can feel very different with your love-mate. Do you feel proud walking with your beloved in front of others? Do you feel calm, happy and free with him in social places like restaurant, café, cinema, exhibition? Do you feel uncomfortable with him and why? Do you both enjoy being together between many people and how do you feel?  Do you take children from kindergarten together? All that moments are related to the friendship root –how do you interact if you are in social situations. If you have often feelings like – uncomfortable, fearful, jealous, not calm, restless, angry, anxious –then its sign something is wrong in your love tree.
5. Honesty – are you always honest with your partner? Even in little things –do you feel free to tell him the truth, to express your thoughts, ideas, feelings without fear? Do you hide “little things” from him and how often?

* the same questions above you can ask about your love-mate – and see if you`ll guess his answers.

These aspects - sharing moments, honesty and trust – are in the root of the tree. Without them no real relationship can grow, and if it grows somehow will be too weak and easy to destroy from any outside factors. 

(* Continue to the second part - Love tree & Lovers II  ) 

[ nina Lea-nura * ]

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