Which people to allow in our world? II

III. Going forward and enfolding my thoughts, who we can trust enough to enter in our world? That means who is worthy we to share many and most of our feelings, reveal our character? The answer is one and very simple: Only and only friends” and “soul mates” are trustful for us. (I don’t speak here about family members, as they are also separate category and if we wish or not, they are not “our soul mates” in many cases, in some they could be). I ll recite one favorite quote from the “New Testament” : 

Matthew 7:6 : 

Don’t give that which is holy to the dogs, neither throw

your pearls before the pigs, lest perhaps they trample

them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Its very obvious what connotation have here “dogs” and “pigs” without we to offend both animals. Anyone, who is unknown enough to us, and without feeling and being sure he is “soul mate” is a priory “not trustworthy”, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be honest with him! Being yourself, without mask, (or if you prefer wearing mask of “yourself”) is highly recommended in your communication with others. In this way, you can be calm, you wont make someone fall in trap of “fake personality” and wont need to wrap garbage in beautiful package. From another side, don’t expect everyone to react and be like you, have in mind the principle “to not throw your pearls before the pigs”, which means simply keep yourself clean from the pollution of unclean people. That does not mean to hide yourself, or to pretend to be someone else, that means to not share your deep and sacred things with them, just to be careful. So you cant simply meet someone and start to speak about all your emotions in past and future. 

Here I want to point out some important differences and misleading statements. The fact that you don’t share totally all with someone (means your private life, values and emotions in your speech) does not mean at all that you are “hidden” or you are hiding something! The hiding is revealed much more, as many other things, from actions ,then from words. That`s why, as principle of simplicity of Confucius here is valid: be simple and honest in your speech. As Lao Tzu says: 

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” 

In this way, you know what means “pearls” and throwing in the statement from “New Testament”. Not only be careful with who you speak, with who you share and reveal, but also don’t give any minute of your time to people who are not totally “trusted”. You`ll regret that later. People who are not trusted, are already not your friends and soul mates”, they are strangers. 

In my text I would like to talk also about the behavior exactly with “strangers” or people who are unknown and not in our rainbow color. Strangers people, or as we can call them “others” we can accept as mystery, means they are unknown and unrevealed for us. We don’t know if they contain 70% or 50% light or darkness, we don’t know even their intentions to us. What we can do to be sure this person is good? 

The same points I mentioned about “friends” are valid here: we cannot be sure about them totally, and you can rely either on intuition (feeling from first sight) or on time approval (feeling after some events and communication process with person). 

The first rule for communication with anyone – no matter stranger or not – we have to take care of our words and actions with them, be simple, honest and open with them, be kind, tolerant and patient, but don’t give them your privacy, nor anything special. Remember that in order to deserve that some time is needed ,in which he will reveal himself. If you are honest and open, and other is not, then obviously he don’t deserve your attention and time. So don’t dedicate more time at all and never waste time to anyone, who you dislike from inside! That is very important rule. Sometimes in life we are like put in situations to spend time with people we dislike, but if we ask ourselves “am I really tied to be in this situation” we`ll find many ways we are not. Escape and avoid to be in presence of such people (that you dislike even only physically) ,because that`s how your inner guidance work! Just be simple, kind but careful what you say and what you reveal. 

When I observed that rules in communication, I want to point out some very practical things we can use in many life situations. On how to prevent yourself from people, who are not trusted, simply avoid them! If you like communication with others, this will be nice for your experience and you`ll take risks. Risks are always valuable, because they give us priority of life lessons. Something reveals to be nice or ugly. What I can say about first time meeting someone, is my recommendation for everyone: 

1. don’t judge/ evaluate someone only by his writing style (when people write they can pretend to be also what they are not, come in roles of “writers”, in order to attract your attention, and finally when you fall in the trap, you find out the truth how you are mistaken) 

2. Don’t judge/ evaluate someone by his look only. (look of someone can be very tricky, he can hide much and reveal much, so both are making your thoughts about his personality in wrong direction. Yes, look is important and here I want to encourage you to not give time to person who looks “unclean”, dirty, or has bad “aura” around) Respect yourself, and of course if you are clean wont be comfortable for you to be in presence of such person, even so be tolerant enough and curious enough to know why he is showing that.

3. Evaluate and judge others by their: a) actions, behavior with you; b) actions, behavior with others; c) actions with their family and children; d) behavior with old people; e) speech and words with you, with others, with family and children, with old people; f) shared values – with you, with others, with family and children. 

4) Evaluate stranger people by their a) way of smiling to you; b) way of smiling to others people with different social status; c) way of smiling with their family and beloved; d) by their willing to help you, others, family and children, old people; e) their eyes, when they speak with you, with others, with their family, children and old people. 

In the end I want to speak about the importance of smile and eyes in any communication. You can easily feel” the identity of someone, be attracted or repelled from him, from his smile, and his eyes expression. If we had the habit to look more deeply into eyes of others (which we forgot to do even while talking, we look somewhere else, or to our smart phone) we would see how much eyes have their language. Eyes of people and smile only can tell you so much you don’t know in any other way. They are sources of spiritual light” , so always look to the eyes first. All feelings, honesty, love, and trust are in them. About people with mask: notice well one difference, I counted many points how to evaluate someone, so don’t fool yourself to “know him” only from the way he behaves, speaks, shares, smiles and looks to you. You have to observe how to the same person do that with other people, with his family, children and old people specially. That will show you much about his real nature and honesty. Many people who say kind and sweet words to you, are fake. Many who have wonderful smile and show kindness to you, will reveal to be fake. Many who you “feel” are so trustful and honest, will be fake. That shouldn’t surprise you, because people have always different “aims”, in society and life. If you are rich person, or in leading company position many people would “love you”, “smile” to you and be very kind with you. That’s why the best is to see behavior of someone with different social groups, with poor people, and with old people. Then you can know on which way he is, and if he is allowed to be your “soul mate”. 

Something more, people who always smile to everyone, hide something. That doesn’t mean they wear mask or are fake, they could really smile, but in order to hide sadness inside. Smile is something good in all situations. but if this smile hides “knife” and sharp teeth , then its not good at all. So smile in open and honest way, look in open way in the eyes of others, respect yourself, and choose well people around you. 

Also don’t share much, if other person doesn’t. Friendship means equality, and requires both sides to be the same. 

Don’t be offended by bad and rude words, they are not related to you, but they are treats of the mind of another and go back to him. 

Don’t be flattered by sweet words – everyone wants to hear nice and lovely things about himself. Yes, but be sure when someone say to you, specially if he is not yet your “soul mate”, and close enough, he has a definite aim with this words and he will succeed if you believe it. 

Observe specially how people react with all children, with poor and old people. Is he kind and compassionate, or only if he has benefit? That will show you much. 

World is wide and people are so different like snowflakes, but they are all humans and should share the same values. 

In conclusion, always remember, we are the same, and also we are unique individuals. Our planet is subjected to changes – of time, aging, character change, change of values, going high, going down. In any moment also the person you know as your “soul mate” can be revealed to be another, or you can change for him, or any other change can appear on your way (see my article * “what really belong to us”). That`s why no matter how well you made plans and calculate and how much you are careful about others, always there is chance for surprises. And that is great, because its how we grow up. 

Have a day with love and light! 

Which people to allow in your world?

   I want to discuss one very important question here, it`s about others, people around us, our friends, family, and about trust, communication and understanding. These are so current questions, that we need all to think about them. 

   First of all, I`ll ask you the question, what is trust? If we look from the simplest possible position, of a child , we can say trust is feeling that you can rely on someone, you can share any information with him, without to fail later, you feel secure, calm and well in his presence, and you feel him as honest and open person. You may add more things and situation to this and what qualities trustful person should have, but mostly we forget one thing. When we criticize and evaluate other people in relation of “trust” we often skip to look to ourselves and see inside of ourselves –are we also trustful, and are we too worthy of trust? This is the first question anyone should ask and answer, then he can continue to think about others. Most often, people who find in their actions and behavior things ,which are not “trustful” ,they wont find it also in others around them –no matter if family, friends, colleagues. Trust as many other feelings are like flowers –need daily care and water, then they can flourish. If you are not trustful for yourself, you wont be for others too! You know inside of you the trust about yourself, what you reveal and what you hide. And as nothing is actually hidden, you ll soon suffer the consequences from your choices and emotions. 

Then what are the other qualities you need to have, in order to be “trustful person”? We can apply all what we said above: we need to be reliable, sharing, patient and listening when others share with us, keep the privacy of shared information, give sense of security, be honest and open, be loyal, helpful and tolerant. That are the main qualities we need to receive trust, and to be persistent in them, in order not to fail in future “obstacles”. Now make this test for yourself again and ask yourself, am I reliable, sharing, patient, giving security to others to share, keep information private, honest, loyal? If you find even one of these not exactly so, then you should evaluate yourself as “not trustful” person. When you feel that, you can easily understand why others also cant trust you totally and then what you should do in order to change that. 

    Now my accent in this text is in others, as the title can show well. If your answer about your own trustfulness” is positive, I`m very happy for you, so you can continue to ask and answer other questions. Don’t forget – people relations are like “mirror” many times. When you give one emotion or feeling, you`ll receive soon the same equal emotion or feeling. No one like people who are rude, feel hatred, don’t smile, or show themselves as evil, they ll logically receive the same feelings, rudeness and hatred. The same people who are usually kind, smiling, loving and trustful, will receive the same feelings and traits from others. Here I want to add one important word : generally they receive, but not always! Remember that, and its easy to see it in reality. Sadly not always when you are kind, helpful and trustful, you receive the same “mirror” reaction, but you could receive even opposite reaction of hatred and rudeness. Why is that so? All that is related to my topic, so I want to answer it. In order to answer this in simple way, i`ll start from another point. People on earth are very unique, different, and there are amazing variety of characters, traits and feelings. Even so, the choices they make on which way to go, make them more or less united in 2 basic groups – people of light, and people of darkness. Do not think this division don’t exist, simply because we are taught in school, that people cant be “good or bad”. Yes, they are surprising mixture of many qualities, like unique book, but still the division exists. We can see it well if we use simple mathematics. No one is perfect as he lives on earth, but people are “pure” and “unclean”. Pure is person, who is related more to the purity, and not less than 70% his actions should be related to the good, light, and beautiful traits. So we can consider person with 70% purity, as a pure” or related to the light. And opposite, even very evil people have something good in them (Yin and Yang is not equally divided in the same percent or black and white!), so more than 70% uncleanness (means evil, dark emotions) makes the person to be “unclean”. As we see well, we deal with relative categories, and not with constants, that never change. In this way people are “pure” and “unclean”, related to light more, and related to darkness more. Of course there are people, who would be maybe 50% of the 2, but this is hard to evaluate, as with time flow and change the scale of one things will be heavier than another, then he will be drown to one side or another. 

    Moreover, I try to say things in simple way. 

   As we know about that ,we can consider all people with more than 70% of darkness as “evil”, and if you are sensitive enough this is easy to be revealed. No doubt such people are “distrustful” and we should avoid them in all ways. Here the problem is how we can know these people are distrustful and evil before we know them? 

   The matter is : in our human level, we don’t have ability to read thoughts, or to evaluate others in good way, very often we are blinded by smile, nice looking, on the surface kind and honest behavior, and then often too we are shocked and surprised how this person is different from what he “shows” and reveals for himself. Why is this so? Because of many social misunderstood problems, norms, fake behaviors in society, wearing masks, hiding emotions, lying, intrigues and with one word –humans are very good actors. They play different roles and rarely play themselves. Playing roles has one very bad point: sooner or later you`ll forget who you really are and you wont have your identity, instead your roles will stick to you, and you`ll become like hamelleon. 

Exactly that masks wearing, acting and faking personalities, is in the root of the problem of “trust” and reveals many traps on the way in society now. But in the same time we all wear masks, in one or another situation, we are used to it, and it became like nature for us as people. We go in different social roles, so we are “obligated” to have mask. Why? One of the reasons is that we feel very safe and secure when we are “hidden” behind mask, then to reveal our true nature. The “acting” of life showed us in wrong ways, the rule, that if people know your true self, they can easily hurt you, mislead you, harm you, lie to you. So you should be hidden, like this is surviving instinct for you. I have a news for you: this all is not truth! The principle of hiding and mask Is well manipulated from the “majority” of dark people, and majority of people who don’t know which direction to go, they swing always between the two, and are easily fooled (manipulated). The truth is, we invented (who we” I wont discuss here, as of course not all “we”) this comfortable principle of hiding, and the game. We should be actors in life, that is so, but acting our real selves! That requires to be ready to be “judged” and talked about, to be ready for social intrigues and much more, but to be your self. That requires brevity and courage. Be open to yourself, this is the first principle, then its much easier to be open with others. 

   Again to the point: around us, in family, friends and society we meet many different people, different characters, views, actions. How can we know “who is good for us” and who we can allow in our private world? 

1. If we find in people the qualities we are looking for, and they are to some extend equal to us, to our inner values and understanding for the world, so these people we call “friends” and we can allow them to our world. With these people we ll feel released and comfortable to share, and to listen both and wont feel burden or heavy, when they need our advice or help, or in other situations. Generally by 2 criteria we choose these people: 1. by intuition 2. by time approval. Everyone knows that friends are not easy to have and easy to lose. We have natural inner feeling when someone is close to us, mostly when we share common views on life, values and interests. That means we are from the same “color of rainbow” or the same “flour”. Intuition is wonderful way to attract and see real friends, that`s how most children become friends. We have to be like them again, and let our feelings guide us better. Many times our children or school friends remain, while later friends just disappear. 

   II. Not everyone has strong intuition for others, even very little people do, so we should observe the second way. That of time approval; only the flow of time, events and actions from the side of our friend, can reveal totally his real nature, his attitude and all of him. Even things he is trying to hide, will be reveal with time, so we can evaluate him on basis of his “deeds” and his feelings. Can we say from his actions and behavior that he is trustful, helpful, kind, wise? Do we feel safe enough to share about our life, our truth feelings with him? Then this is real friend, who should be “soul mate”. For friends is valid the same as for married couple affirmation: to be together in good and bad, to take care of each other. Actually the person who you can call “beloved” has one more quality with that of “friend, soul mate”, that to be lover, so we are also attracted to him in all levels – physical, mental, spiritual. Then he is our truth love. If one of the levels fail, then all relation wont be truth and fake. 

   I continue with the quality of “trust” and feeling person close to us. About way of intuition mostly women possess it, even they not always are aware of it, because they don’t work with their intuition. Women can feel” her beloved many times from first look, even with risk to be misled, but men rarely can do so. He needs time to evaluate his own feelings, to see the woman from all sides and wait to reveal her character with the time. About that love relationships and “traps” of behavior i`ll write separately. 

So by the 2 ways we have our friends, but not all people can be our friends! That is good to remember. In fact person has more or less up to 5 closer people, who are considered as “soul mate” and others are just “friends” by name, but this name should be substitute with “acquaintances”. Be careful, not everyone you just know” can be your friend, even he is good person himself, maybe you are not from the same color of the rainbow. That`s why best way to evaluate someone as friend is: 1. sharing (how happy and willing you are to share your inner world with him, and the same about him); 2.trust and helping (can you feel safe for anything about him, is he trustful and was he with you, in hard situations?) 3. time devotion (we still don’t realize how precious is “time”, so when you spend time with someone doing what you both like, that is most precious gift. So think how many times you talk, communicate, discuss things about life, not just complain about”, how often do you meet, face to face, and spend time together. That` ll tell you if this is truth friend, or not anymore. Even in hard situation for you in life, the “soul mate” will keep connection with you, even if you are in distance, which will make your communication not so strong and intense. Even so by willing from both sides you can still keep the word “friendship” between you, but you ll fail to evaluate it as “real one”. 

(* I advise you to make this simple test for you now) 

About Bulgarian people

[ I would like to make the short mark, I write this post ,because I`m happy and proud to be Bulgarian. ]

Many times people share experiences about national characteristics with a negative sign. Why is that so? As everything in our life, peoples attention seems to be attracted more by the negative, grim, gloomy side , than by the light and uplifting side. I don’t speak about inner human desire for beauty, which is immanent, but about the pieces of ugliness found every day in different forms. These pieces possess energy of “sharpness” and this is much more visible, has greater effect and impact on peoples mind, than the softness and calm light of positive, that not interfere with our fears. 

What I want to concentrate now is softness instead of sharpness, and relate this to some special national characteristics of Bulgarian people. All is general, without any detailed observation, and my aim is not to analysis at all. My aim in this entry is to bring in front some beautiful hidden traits, which we tend to forget, and they exist in us. 

Every human beings is totally different and unique as individual, but we all together as humans living on earth, have of course all common things, which exactly make us united. On the other hand, every nation is also very different, has its historical events, custom and cultural impact, social paradigm and behavior and in this respect its also unique and different from others. What appears in your mind when you say “Indian”, “French”, “German”, “Egyptian”, “Nigerian”, “Chinese”, these are not individual traits, nor human characteristics for all people, but our consciousness make links to “well known” or wide spread national characteristics of the particular nation and group, adding his landmarks and history. In this way, when you say “Indian” ,you imagine not only a hospitable suntanned person with big smile, colorful clothes, but you can have association like “Taj Mahal”, Hindu temples, Ganesha, Vishnu, Hindu gods, dancing snakes, traditional Indian bread, food, saree, turbans, cows, elephant, festival of color and so on…All that images are related to Indian nationality…But where is the individual character? This character associations can be very well manipulated from the main stream social media and news, that add some really dark and negative images, stick to the peoples and nations. Simply because this kind of social media most of all relies on the sharpness of the negativity, than the softness. Bad news and crimes spread faster than the light. In this way in our human mind remains – Take care when you go to India, they may smile to you, and in the same time steal your wallet, take care about drinking water, diseases and viruses, mosquito and so on. We are reminded to be cautious with almost every person, but the European media brings much more negative attention and draw bad pictures of all “out of Europe countries”, and much less to Europe. 

With the in born attraction of human from “negative side” and sharpness, people in my country also feel excited from the spew of bad news and crimes, even no one wants them. This is tendency everywhere, until part of the population just switched off the TV and refused to watch anything, good or bad, the internet brings much more opportunities, moreover you can manage and choose by yourself information you want to get. 

About Bulgarian people, if I try to distance myself from it, and look from the eyes of foreigner, I would say just few things: East of Europe, Black sea resorts, nice women, past (football team), Bulgarian yogurt, Roses and rose oil, Bulgarian traditional clothes, hospitable and cautious people, distant between each other, wonderful mountains, Sofia, Alexander Nevski, some monuments…That `s the very general image we have, but also some more related to gipsy spread population around the world – mafia, guns, big muscular men, corruption, unclean, dark skin faces. If the first associations are truth and facts, the second are brought from media and are of course Not truth. Not because such people don’t exist in Bulgaria! (we are little country and all little criminal actions are well on the spot light!) But because its not related to everyone and everything, and its determined. As well as all other nations, we have much right to be proud. Not in the way of co called “nationalists” waving flags and singing national anthem while drunk, but with open heart and mind. 

Distinguish yourself from the negative every day news, from criminal world, from sharpness, and now open your eyes and see the real image in front of you. We are land with long history, with amazing kings, people, writers, poets, culture, and with impact on worlds history. But I wont speak about history and landmarks here, because the main change in the land comes from people themselves. We as nation will go ahead and change the history, keep the Bulgarian identity, spread the traditions and customs, love ourselves. 

Here I want to focus on the positive qualities and traits of Bulgarians, which make us strong and stand as nation, through the storm of wars, political and innner conflicts, make us survive even the Ottoman rule and rise again more willing. Even so I want to mention, that one of the bad consequences of these wars and foreign slavery are still visible in Bulgarian traits: 1. low-self esteem, 2. suspiciousness 3. distrust. I point out these qualities, in order to continue the discovery of the beautiful traits of our nation. But all has effects and consequences, even in the sub-conscious level of our mind. These traits brought to Bulgarians more individual approach, distance from others, as well as very colorful variety of individuals with different understanding about the world. I want to reveal now the beautiful side of light. No matter what we feel, or how we are criticized by our own self”, Bulgarians are: 

-- open minded (they like to travel, discover new world, new nations, new approaches, they have mind very attracted by idea of cultural diversities, so they can feel well in any place, and integrate well in different places. Many of Bulgarians are mountain and trip lovers, free spirited people, who feel very close to the earth and nature; 

__ [ Nature lovers ] People in this part of the world have very special, strong connection with the nature, which is seen in their life style. They are many times passionate gardeners, caretakers of land and trees, or involved in ecological and animal-rights campaigns. Most Bulgarian enjoy taking care of plants and flowers at home, no matter if in inner or outer space.

__ [ Spiritual interest ] Many different cultures crossing our country, as well as traveling of Bulgarians themselves make them far from “closed traditions” of the East, and more willing to see, read, discover the world religions, they are attracted by the spirituality in the human nature, by the general in all religions. That’s why I can say people in my land are very tolerant. They are ready to see and accept differences of others, even if they feel insecure with many of that differences. They want to feel with eyes of others and have very good willing for that. That make their inner life enlightened more easily than anyone else in world. 

__ Compassionate : When you visit my country you`ll feel the spirit of compassion and love. They are connected from the root. Compassion comes when you can put yourself in the place of the suffering person, object, in this way you feel intuitively the universal language and directions, you know that winds can be changed, and let your heart to be touched by the sadness. This shows us , that we are much more united than we think. Our souls are connected, in any time and situation, as well as connected to the universal source. 

__ Creative Mind : They have not just open, but creative mind. As we are very quiet inside, sometimes dreamer, believing in our dreams, our mind works in many directions. Many Bulgarians discovering other societies, traveling, observing, bring back fresh new ideas to start. Even we don’t believe in our political system and social justice, proven to be not working, we are still optimists and insist to do what our heart feels, and reveal to the world the truth life purpose. Many Bulgarian have not only amazing scientific discoveries, but also great creative approaches, that lift us entirely our spiritual level. Some decided to stay in Bulgaria and dedicate beautiful things to people here: Bulgarian folklore voices are famous world wide, we have unique folk costumes, unique musical instruments and folklore dances. Some people start to reveal more and more depths of tradition. Some groups are dedicated to hand-made stuff like pure honey wax candles, hand made cards, pottery and souvenirs, Bulgarian colorful rugs. 

__ Authentic – to be authentic is not trait? I don’t think so. In comparison with other nations, no matter where our interests are, we want to do what we love and to love what we do! That means we follow our truth heart desire, and we are brave enough to do that. We are not reconciled with all evil around and fight with the things we dislike to change. We are very self-critical and with that generally critical. In order to do something we have to analyze, see the positive and negative sides and then decide which way to go. Bulgarians are attracted to depths and wisdom, and cant be people of the “surface life”. They want to do more and more things, to reach higher goals, and don’t give up easily even if they fail. If persistency is not much part of our traits, intuition, love and forgiveness are. People in this fruitful land are with kind hearts and open mind, free spirit, always ready to embrace the beauty of the world, and ready to bring innovation, just someone to give them supportive hand. 

__ We can think about more and more amazing national traits, and feel enriched to live in Bulgaria, keeping precious memory of the national heroes, and prominent artists from many generations: here and nowhere else lived and died: Vasil Levski, Hristo Botev, Zahari Stoyanov, Ivan Vazov, Nikola Vaptsarov, Hristo Smirnenski, Tsar Boris, Dimitar Talev, Dimitar Dimov, painters like : Vladimir Dimitrov Maistora, Dechko Uzunov, Ivan Markvichka…and many more, musicians, actors, theoreticians, chess world champions (Veselin Topalov), Sport stars (Manuela, Magdalena Maleeva, Ivet Lalova, Dimitar Berbatov ) even some spread in other countries, they wont forget the root of Bulgaria, which music always sings from depths of their soul. 

Just I want to say to you, dear Bulgarians : Be grateful, be loving, and see the sprinkles of light and beautify every day! Be united, be helpful, be active for the good! 

Destructive emotions

    What is meaning of destructive emotions? If you ever asked yourself this question, you could see how simple and complex in the same time it can be. In a nutshell : destructive is emotion, which leads to imbalance in our energetic, mental and physical body, for a short or long period of time. Also 2. destructive emotion arises from existing energy imbalance and unsolved inner problems. 

__ Here again as in many places in my writings I speak about “imbalances”. That is important to remember. 

We have many types of destructive emotions, and all of them will bring harm to the physical body or are particular threat to the individual, who experience them. I make a list below for some of more prominent and damaging black emotions: 

a) Hatred 

b) Malice 

c) Envy 

d) Jealousy 

e) Anger 

f) Resentment 

g) Frustration 

h) Depressions 

i) Anxiety 

j) Aggression 

k) Greed 

l) Gluttony 

m) Lust 

o) Fear 

    In my other writings I said already, that fear is one of the basic destructive emotions, which can cause chain effect and be followed by many more. Fear of failure, fear of losing someone/ something, fear to be left alone, is one of the essential and dominant fears in the human nature. For any poison we have an antidote, even if we don’t know it. The same is for these down feelings, which we experience as part of our life-journey. For fear the antidote is hope, trust, self-love. But how to implement this antidote in reality? 

   After we already have a wrong pattern in minds, we are programmed to think is such way, as its convenient for the society we live in, this healing process wont be easy and requires time. 

   But I want to explain here something very simple. These emotions, most of them don’t appear from nothing, or just without a background. They all have roots. Mostly they look like fire, which burst out and its not easy to be extinguished, if we don’t see it on time. So the time matters and times means tiny part of seconds. As the fire in order to appear needs a fuel and a spark, the same way the negative emotion needs fuel – a cause and spark – our lost control, lack of emotional hygiene, imbalances. So the controlling of fire, before it gets bigger with many flame, or explosion, is of great importance for us. What we need to know is the statement: All we have inner ability to control our emotions and hold on, stop our destructive emotions. But we didn’t develop this ability until now, and we seem to not know the ways, how to do that. 

   The good news is, there is a way out! The control of negative emotions, hindering our good health in all levels, is the key to overcome them. That means one: we need to not only know what means control” as word, but to practically implement it in our life. How this can happen? 

Ok, let me give you very simple example. Imagine you are overweight, have bloating in the belly and want to lose weight and feel much more healthy, moreover you want to look nice and attractive in dress or suit. What you`ll do? If you are serious enough , which means willing and conscious about your decision, will you continue to eat double portions and indulge in all kind of foods, sweets and bakery? No, of course, you`ll put yourself in a diet, make a strict rules, and follow them step by step, which requires time, efforts, and will increase your courage and strength. Finally you`ll see yourself fit. But one more thing. It may not be enough only to quit some food in your daily regime, but you should also start some basic training – yoga, go to gym, exercise, make stretches, feel your body sweat. What is that mean? The exercises shows you are a strong person, and have strong willing and determination to follow your decision. Yes, you can occasionally fall out of that, and go in trap to eat some chocolate biscuits or ice cream, but them you ll be on the track again! Until your success is obvious and you feel satisfied from your achievement. 

   I want to ask you now, what do you think requires such action? In order to succeed? It is exactly: a) conscious decision, b) determination c) willing d) hope and believe in the future best results, e) courage f) conscious efforts in form of training. 

   I think this is clear enough, and you can add any more to it. Now lets go to our first question about the “control”. What to do ,in order to achieve control of “emotions”? and here I mean the negative emotions. Answer: all these rules, above, are absolutely valid also for control of emotions. How this will look like?

   First you need to acknowledge the existence of problem in you: maybe you have uncontrolled anger, which affects on you emotionally and on others around you. Maybe you have problem with frustration with unexpected things. You should realize that as a beginning. Then you need to work on it in the way of “weight loss”, by training, your mental and energy body for new kind of reaction. A) you want to have conscious decision to get rid of that emotion, b) you have determination for that, willing, you believe and hope for future results, and final step is making conscious efforts in form of training. 

We have to know the following, which seems to not be revealed to us after we are born: we can train and control not only our body, but also our mind, heart, emotions, and all in energy level. Moreover from these higher, and invisible energy levels comes the most important solutions to our problems in physical world. So about emotions. Make efforts and make daily mental trainings. 

   If you have uncontrolled anger, put aim to hold it and throw it back to air”, try to not let it inside of your physical body, and let it go quickly. For example, you usually start to make fight, shout and your face becomes red, your blood pr. Increases, and you cant stop yourself to continue. When anything challenging happens to you, 1. put as an aim to react in a much different way; put as aim to not burst in flames quickly. That wont be easy at first! You need to try, and its like mental games.    For everyone these mental energy games are different. But you can – say some fast affirmation or healing words (like mantra, short prayer, short words which are specially for you, and not offensive of course).

You can try also – counting method, method of energy color and light encircling, holding a stone, or imagining that we live in illusion and you are part of it. All that can help you is effective. One more thing about control we should say here:

   Control doesn’t means holding inside your anger, but letting it go “away from you”. Its process like evaporation of a gas. Acknowledge, make yourself distant from your body, and make yourself look from “above” the way angels see you. Then observe your reaction. This wont happen at once, but gradually. Have it in mind and try it…and it will work, if you try many times! Many methods of control are available to us now, even we just now discover the “water” and start to be amazed. 

   Any feeling which is hindering you from joy and happiness is negative or destructive and can lead to illness of body. Read more, know more, practice more. By regular meditation and exercises many things can be avoided. The antidote for any heavy feeling is 1. control and 2. inviting and embracing the opposite feeling of it. If you feel angry, u are obsessed by an issue which becomes dominant in the situation and by event. Feel carefree, and look from another point of view. See world in different way, be an observer, not participant. In this way you`ll leave the stage for short time, see yourself and others, without judging, and then return safe. 

   The remedy for hatred, malice, resentment, envy, jealousy, mischief, depression, frustration, lust …are opposite feelings of light__ unconditional love, joy, compassion, hope, trust in others, believe in yourself, believe in universal harmony, release fears, release pain, smile, laugh, find the way of opposite. 

I can write more and more about all that feelings, but remember the feeling and the way to overcome and heal are unique, individual for everyone. So you should find your own way to do that, when you already know: you are not perfect, but you are loved! 

What really belong to us? II

   With the question of belongings in this life, arises one other very important question –on other pole – that of Losing. What is meaning to lose something or someone?? And what affect that has on our mind. Since the beginning of humanity, our brain and emotions struggle with the very heavy burden of feelings of “lose”, “fear of lose” which actually creates almost all other feelings inside of us. Losing and fear of losing is very often in basis and root of many evil emotions – like – fear of losing your beloved is indicated by jealousy, lack of security, lack of confidence (in yourself or life), possessiveness. Fear of to remain alone may create too – depression, anxiety, living in illusionary world, lying (to yourself and others), dissatisfaction, frustration. Fear of losing material things and money –can lead to greed, insecurity, even aggression and violence. Any kind of strong fear as well as strong emotional imbalance can lead to violence, uncontrolled anger, different kind of perversions. Fear of losing your job, home, security, can make you distrustful, cold, frigid, incapable of love and affection. Fear of failure can make you more insecure, doubtful, lost in illusions, lies, stressed and depressed. Fear of losing any human beings (wife, beloved, child, parent…) can make you too stressed, anxious, upset, emotionless, dull…and much more. Fear of poverty and swallowed emotions, grief and pain can lead to gluttony, and over weight, fear of losing something precious, purity and cleanness leads to lust. Fear of failure too common in our society has imprints for a wide net of emotional imbalances – aggression, depression, hatred, envy, jealousy, anxiety, insecurity. That fears are so connected to each other, that one thread leads to another and so on endlessly. The you find yourself in the trap of the black hole., where you cant see any light (in the final stage of destruction). Don’t have doubt, sadly destroyed souls exist here on earth, they are many and we can call them “sick” as angels do.

  The problem is – any of these states affects on any different individual in unique way! That means there is not one recipe to be prescribed to heal for any illness. So what to do? That`s why I write this article, to help you understand, feel and see the depth of the problem of belongings. 

So in short __ Any thought pattern of belonging creates inevitably pattern of “fear of losing”. It`s like a little snowball, that becomes bigger and bigger by rolling in the snow. But here ball is actually made of fire. Fire of destructive emotions. The fear of losing from its side creates all the negative and heavy emotional statuses I said above. That means where is the root all? And where is the solution for it? 

__ There are thousands and millions of books, reports, articles and texts about how to heal your soul, “how to remain happy in your lifetime”, how to be healthy. All of them are wonderful to read, when you face hard times and challenges in your life path. But where is the book to actual prevent us from going so down, in order to not be “healed after”? That`s what I need to ask. 

   The problem is from the beginning to not create false pattern in our brain, and to realize the truth, even very simple : You don’t belong to anyone or anything, and nothing and no one belongs to you. We should face and feel this with all power , if we like it or not, because already the reality of life will bring us to it. Why? Your child belongs to you? Ok, then can you have full control on him or on his brain? No. Then he doesn’t belong to you. (some people will say, then why he was given to me? Not because of God decisions, but because of something called “lessons” and “sacred responsibilities”. You are responsible to take care of him, and that “special given order for you” we see and count as “belonging” ! But he /she does not belong to you. The same way no any human on earth, nor animal, nor living being, nor object belong to us actually. We create this pattern in our brain, simply to make ourselves “powerful enough” and why we want to be powerful?? Think why? 

Simply because we want to control everything around us, and this feeling of control grows more and more in wrong direction and in enormous dimensions. We should all “let go” of all sticking words “possessions”, belongs”, safe things here. The only permanent thing in life, as many wise people said is “change”. Be ready to love and embrace any change in your life, even which seems to be “bad” and change of losing. Only then you`ll have chance to win yourself”. 

__ Now I want to have attention to one other text of mine, which observes “the 10 sacred obligations” we have on earth. Taking care of our body, our home, things inside, things we use every day (called possessions), taking care with love for our parents, wife, husband, family, all people, people with disabilities, poor, miserable, taking care and keeping clean our environment, nature, animals, trees, flowers, taking care of our physical, mental and emotional body…all these are “Obligations” for us, and of course they are part of the divine plan. We are here to actually take care, of all that –in many different ways. We are gardeners and care takers, healers. If we develop and maintain that pattern, letting go of “attachments”, we`ll much easily overcome (as it will need time of overcoming) any frustration, fear of lose, insecurity, grief of someone died, and all other things, which prevent us from feeling complete and happy. 

__ Now is time to ask the last question for this text: What actually belongs to us? Can you now see the light / truth in the tunnel? You could easily answer now – as we are caretakers of our body, our home, our possessions, our earth, people around, so only thing we can possess is :Soul, Spirit and energy. That we actually possess and 2. we possess the real connection with our angels and spiritual guides. (but as many other things, because of our stupidity and many violations we lost this connection long ago). 3. We possess connection with the endless Light and source of energy : God. That are the 3 things we have in real. What these can benefit and bring to us?

1. Soul, spirit bring us connection to your deep inner self , which is most important for the life –path. When we have connection with our self –we ll not only be more and more emotionally balanced, safe, secure, satisfied, we`ll have feeling of happiness and joy from simple things in life, but also we can reveal the real pearls inside f us – like our truth life purpose – our talents and good qualities? Like gentleness, creativity, fresh mind, scientific approach, deep love for yourself and others, compassion, truthfulness. In order to be real and reveal your inner pearl, you should be not afraid ,leave any fear behind, and be connected with your deep self, with your angels and with God. Then you`ll feel you belong to all the universe, and all other things will appear to you as little, insignificant, dull. What we have here is just “tools to grow” and develop our inner abilities. 

About how we can have connection to our inner self –I think this question was answered many times in many ways – including all religions and spiritual paths. One of the best way is “ free of our conscious trough meditation” __ 

We have to look more inside our thoughts, and don’t compare your life-path to anyone else. You are unique person and your life will be unique too. But the feeling that we don’t belong to the “down material world” should appear now clear if front of our eyes, we belong to God, Light and universe. 

What really belong to us? I

 I want to ask the immanent question, which is very actual in this post modern times. What we think we possess, and what in reality is what we have in this life time. In my texts “About possessions” I already observed this topic in some details, now I want to continue and determine the core of the problem. 

If we think deeply, the mind that “something or someone belong to us” in the life, gives many times destructive and negative affect on our brain. When we think of that which we “can lose” in the future, which we simply didn’t succeed to have, or which we don’t have in the present, we stumble to very much egoistic (and very trendy for all humans) emotional stigma” of “what I don’t / cant have” makes me fail on my way. That brings to us destructive emotions like : deep disappointment, negative frustration, sadness, depression, feeling of low self-esteem, feeling of failure, even more – brings aggression, bitterness, malice, envy, harm and mischief to our brain. All that feelings affect actually on our body in physical level, from where we invite viruses and illnesses. 

__ Until now I just wanted to point out what thinking of belonging and possessions can bring to us. What we do? In reality we start since birth to think about what is “ours” and start to develop system of wrong thought paradigm about everything what surround us. Later as we grow ,we continue to apply this paradigm on us and our children and so on…until the chain is so thick that cant be easily broken. We came already into the cycle of thinking, which is leading us to real failure and emotional trap and dissatisfaction. 

__ What happens with the child? Since the baby is born, we impose to him all possible possessions. The milk bottle “belongs” to him, the blanket and bed belongs to him, the mother belongs to him, the toys, plush bears and all things, surrounding him belong to “him” in his little world. That` s why when any other child tries to get in touch, grab or play with the toy, or takes any other object, that belongs to the baby owner, it becomes real battle between them. You can often here “this is mine”, leave my toy, leave me this, and so on. What is behind these phrases? One very common and deeply rooted human feeling – egoism. Our ego is bigger than our brain and bigger than our body even. So we not only think and develop the emotion that everything surrounding us –our home environment belong to us, but also think that everyone, who is very close to us, in immanent connection (like parents for the child and opposite) also belongs to us. Then here is the evolution of one and first of the biggest illusions in world. 

  Only because the child sees his mother in front of him, she is “his” , only because he is give to play toys, he is given bed, blanket…so on, there are “for him” and turn to his possession. Any other touch of his possessions will make child feel pain, nervous and malicious and cry out, the same way the feeling that mother belongs only to him (and not to his new born sister or brother) creates feeling of the so familiar “jealousy”. 

__This is about a child`s world, what if we observe the world of the grown individual? What we` ll find? Half and more than half population on earth (around 80%) are driven most of their life by negative feelings, and surrounded by negative feelings like : hatred, malice, envy, jealousy, anger, resentment, depression, aggression, fear of failure, any fear, dissatisfaction, greed, lust, gluttony, anxiety, laziness. All these feelings are obvious imbalances in all levels – energy, mind, emotions, and body. Body finally suffers the worst diseases, which cant be properly healed in this environment. The basic question is __why?

To answer this question, we can follow the pattern of what happens to the childs mind, emotions and reactions. Then see the same patterns repeat many times in disastrous way to the grown person. Child knows that everything what he needs, will be given to him, without he to struggle much, except to cry out. The same way grown individual will avoid to struggle in any way, if he can get something in easy way. This is not by nature, but become a psychological pattern behavior. The answer to the question why is this: because the human has in mind that he has possessions, belongings, material projected objects, as well as people, recognized by him as close”, he will suffer inevitably in the future, past and present. The pattern of the belonging “feeling” creates in our brain “impossible connection” and attachments, which shouldn’t be there. One shouldn’t be very intelligent to make simple observations and statement about result of human behavior and feelings. 

a. what happens when someone takes the favorite toy of the child? He cries.

b. What happens when someone steel your car? You are angry and furious. 

c. What happens when someone steels your golden bracelet? You are angry and sad. 

d. What happens when your home is burnt? You feel desperate__

e. What happens when someone kidnaps your child? 

f. What happens when you lose all your money? 

g. What happens when you lose your beloved? 

h. Whet happens when someone you love dies? 

i. What happens when your wife / husband leave you? 

j. What happens when someone eats something you cant afford? 

  The questions can be endless in this list, and I will leave to your imagination to continue. For me that is enough to give a clear example about the way our brain works in direction of “possessions”. And the final question __ what happens with our “belongings” after we die? May we have the money, car, wife, child, clothes, and all with us in the afterlife? The answer is clear –No. Yes, ancient Egyptians buried the dead rich prominent people with their belongings and food and more things for afterlife…But that was obviously symbolical act, and more like “magic ritual” than any other act. No one expected the dead people to just stay in this place of darkness and eat old food.