Marriage and separation -III

~ when to stay in union of love? ~

As this article has to prioritize the spiritual views and gives "angelic answers" on my questions, I have to say more: Separation in any love and marriage relationship is needed and obligatory in all cases if we feel “braking of the union”, and of losing completely some important feelings: love, forgiveness, compassion, respect, sharing, understanding, tolerance, gentleness. In some cases this can be also feeling of passion and sexual desire, even though this feeling will gradually decrease and become slow.

    Most of all never stay in any union without feeling of love (and being loved). Another most important feelings are trust, honesty and respect. Any spouse (as I stated in article about love-relationships) – needs to have deeper knowledge and understanding about the values, spiritual views, and insights of his partner. He should be filled with acceptance, or in case of negative habit of his partner, he is obliged to help and show him the way. This guidance and support are very significant for any relationship. No everyone in moments of negative feelings, depression or fear, is aware of his own mistakes and disadvantages. That’s why is important in such moments to feel supported from someone, who will be honest and in the same time gentle. Rude behavior or harsh offensive language are not help in such situation. Human needs exactly opposite to understand the truth – kindness and love. No one would admit his “bad habit” in front of shouting bad words partner. (For example if you are smoker or drink more than usual alcohol regularly, your partner is the one to advice you, to support you and stand with you in positive way, so you can quit that habit.) Of course – here I don’t mention people who are together on basis of “bad habits” who are together inside the “trap”, but in this case one of them could change his way realizing his mistake, and help his beloved to do the same.

III. Marriage in the earth`s future ~

Anyone should understand – separation is immanent and obligatory in case of lost love, distrust, any kind of fear and unforgiveness. Your heart can forgive all, but when you are free, out of the prison of your own fears, prejudices and social chains. That` s why let your soul be free and taste happiness of life, never stay in a marriage or relationship, without your higher Self willing and without love, trust, gentleness and respect. In fact all these feelings are connected and mixed within Love (as universal feeling).

     In the future order and societies, all will be organized in very different manner. Divorce and separation will not bring any stress, broken hearts, and fears. They will be quite normal and usual things, which are even rooted in the system of society. Not everyone of course will use divorce, but it wont be final “act” nearly to social stamp of injustice. It will be normal and friendly process of continuing the way you choose, of respecting the changes in others and your freedom.

Marriage in the future order on earth will be quite different. It will be real union of souls, and the couple will involve in sacred ritual and ceremony for the wedding. Then they will have again appointed time to be together (which is not equal to whole life), but like one year. After that period the couple comes together again to the special person (who will have function of shaman) and they will have to follow some requirements, if they want to stay together. That means marriage not only wont be “forever” and until the end of life, but it will be quite special ritual for union of two souls. If the couple wants to stay together, then they will do so, by following the rules of the shaman” of ceremony. After the year (or the appointed period of marriage) the person gives them special test and ask them questions to view how much they are fitting in the puzzle of marriage, and if their love continue to be strong, how much they are close together, if they know each other positive and negative sides. Finally he asks them if they are willing to continue the sacred marriage. If they want, the a special ceremony (not show but sacred ritual they make in private), is repeated again. Another period of marriage will be appointed (which is made by the shaman). So each period the sacred marriage will be renewed with ritual, or broken, by willing of the couple. Separation can also be possible with the decision of shaman, who will have exact reasons for that – they don’t include any outer obstacles like children, or finances, because in future order there wont be such issues and society wont be build on bank system, and money.

That’s how we see, issue of “separation” and marriage is free from dramatic obstacles or circumstances in the new society. Separation even will be quite usual, normal and part of the individual process of growth. No one will be suffering, or having emotional trauma, because both sides will be free to choose –to continue the marriage union, or to brake it. Of course there will be cases in which the two partners don’t have one and the same feelings or agreement. One may still love his spouse, but if another doesn’t, they cant have real harmony together. That’s how the future order gives priority to freedom, as well as developing spiritual growth and understanding about feelings of another.

      There also can be cases, when the couple decides to separate for period of time, but after that they want to be together again. Their desire will be respected, but in future society will be strict rules about marriage, just because it wont be “just a document sign”, but a sacred ritual. That rules, quite different from what we see today, will have impact in growing population, people to stay in love within the periods of marriage, and more marriages to be performed. Even so, the marriage ceremony wont be so easy as now. It will take time and special preparation. Certain activities will be made. Marriage will look like initiation in special spiritual order. Not like just spontaneous decision from two sides.

That cant be reality of course with the spiritual development of humanity in present. People on earth need first to go through spiritual evolution. Then all things will change, not just the marriage ceremony, but the style of life and values of person. 

Thank you for reading the last part of my thoughts about marriage and separation, feel free to like and share it, or put a comment below! Stay blessed. 

nina Lea-nour *

angel`S medium 

@ 2018

Marriage and separation -II

 ~ Marriage from spiritual perspective ~

So the main reason of marriage (also from spiritual perspective) is Love, respect, understanding and forgiveness. If just one of these feeling is lost or blocked within the union, marriage wont be possible. As the main reason of marriage is love, it is the feeling we need to cherish and spread every day of life. The wife and husband have to share their love, to show and express love daily, or in cases of negative thoughts, conflicts, they have to share feelings of respect, compassion, understanding, forgiveness. That’s how the marriage is moving and growing forward – as a flower, that is watered and taken care of. Marriage is not a vehicle that moves alone in the street with automatic speed. It has to be taken care of, needs efforts to stay in perfect state. That’s how all positive feelings of love matter.

Something more –for many couples marriage becomes to forceful torture, punishment and institution of “prison”. That’s exactly why I wanted to write this article. Understand, marriage is not a “prison” for the soul, or a chain for the neck of couple. It is supposed be “growing” together, learning lessons from each other, learning how to take care of another, how to be honest, compassionate, loving, how to give more, how to show your truth feelings, how to be yourself. Marriage as spiritual love, has to show the spiritual aspects of Self, reach to freedom of self and discovery of Self, through another, with help of another.

    That’s why – being loved, cherished and taken care of is not enough. You need to give all that feelings back to your partner! That’s what is union of marriage. Love, cherish, forgive, take care of your spouse, every day. Another important aspect in any kind of relationship – is honesty.

(you can read my articles about friendship …and love relationships…)

In marriage everything is possible, if expresses freedom of soul, together with morality and spiritual values of both partners.

Marriage also is deeply intimate experience, connection of two souls in one, in order to reach to higher spiritual growth by many experiences. Marriage union needs to show the perfect mastery of cycle of giving and receiving, of loving and being loved.

Another important statement I want to make is: marriage is created only for the people within it – even if it has social face, it is not existing for approving views of relatives, parents, society. Marriage needs to fit in couples own life style and values, not in one of society. That’s why its intimate – it involves two people and their children.

That’s why it can be canceled only from the side of the couple. Not anyone else. Any couple should not accept interference from outside, its territory is private.

I.                   Separation. What is separation, when it is needed?

Separation (or in social perspective “divorce”) is highly needed and recommended in many cases. I have to say, with help of angels, that in today societies and cultures, multiple people suffer from “unreal marriage”. That means these couples are aware of their “broken” relationships, but Still continue to resist Separation as normal outcome. This resistance, delay and compromising is wrong, and its usually due to many socially based fears. As we know, anything on base of fear is doomed to collapse. That’s why such kind of marriage is “fake” marriage. Some of the well realized reasons for such continues “self-prison” are said to be:

-         the married couple have children and they are fear from their reaction and affect from divorce;

-         one person from couple is financially dependant from another

-       one person if co-dependent from another due to sharing the same property (home, flat)

-     the couple has “addiction” to their routine life-style (including sexual addiction)

-      one or both people from the couple have fear to be alone, due to lack of stability – emotional, bad heath, financial; fear of being alone;

-    one person from the couple is afraid to lose his –home, children, job, security.

These are some of the basic reasons why phenomena of “fake” marriages exist. Here I don’t mention any Karmic relationships or abusive patterns, which are very common. My focus is on how such relationship can become “impossible” and prison of souls for both partners. In such way, both will have huge energy discharge, they will tend to feel most of the time tired, exhausted or have frequent health problems when together.

This all will be result of wrong understood social fear of judgment, of being isolated, neglected by others, as well as fear of losing safety, and most of all fear of change. 

Thank you for reading the second part of my article, feel free to share it, like it, post a comment below! Continue to part 3 ...

nina Lea-nour *

angel`S medium 

Marriage and separation -I

In this article I ll shortly observe what the marriage is from spiritual perspective. I want to answer the questions: is marriage a social pattern of relationship or should be something else? What are characteristics of marriage and spouse relationships? What is separation, in which cases separation is needed? What are the social and individual values within a marriage?

                                                  

    Marriage and being married is part of the social lows and paradigm of creating approved relationship within society. From this perspective marriage needs to be legal – not opposing the laws of the country, to be accompanied with a document from responsible institution, to be open act of agreement from two sides. These are the main social features of marriage. As usually I want to turn my attention to the personal and spiritual features and values within a marriage as socially approved relationship.

    In modern society and different cultures, as we know, many types of marriages are not approved, not legal, or out of social (cultural, moral) values. Such special marriages are categories:

-         marriage between people from the same sex (two female or 2 male)

-        marriage with under-age children (in different countries and societies the age varies, generally under 15 or 16 years)

-        Marriage between people from different religious background, that are not allowed to be in sacred union (for example Muslim woman and man belonging to Christianity, Judaism)

-        Marriage between people from different class circles (like high class person, and very low class person)

-         Marriage of people who are both under-aged (usually in India)

-         Marriage of people with too big differences in age (for example man of 60 with girl under 16 –such cases are seen many in region of Afghanistan, where the child is actually sold)

    All these different cases are not everywhere unlawful, but they are always put under social skepticism, unaccepted values and not viewed in positive way. In most Muslim societies still the views on marriage are quite conservative and restricted to religion. In such Islamic ruled countries for ex. The couple cant be together or live together before official religious marriage, also they are prohibited from sexual intercourse or any close relationship. In fact in most such countries the girl is not even allowed to walk outside or hold hand with her beloved before they are officially engaged. On the contrary, in most of the European countries, UK and North America, there are not many laws and social restrictions on life of unmarried couples. They are not only allowed to walk and be together, to express freely their feelings, to have sex or any intimate moments alone, but they are totally accepted to live together and have children without marriage ceremony.

These are as we see, totally different styles and values on such important issue as marriage. That`s why I ask angels to help me in writing and solving the doubts on what real marriage should be” and how it is related with spirituality, ethics and culture of each society?

I.                   What a marriage is from spiritual perspective?

This looks like easy question to be answered. Marriage is from social point union of two individuals, allowed by the laws of religion, society, country and family. Of course there are plenty of example of marriage “disapproved” from side of family members, but still legal in society. Within this union both sides should be from opposite sex (with some exceptions allowing the same sex marriages in North America), spouses have specific duties and obligations within this union, also they have specific rights and privileges according to the marriage certificate and country laws. Both sides should accept and agreed on that marriage with their own free will – this is also important statement.

From spiritual point – marriage is not union of two people, who have obligations to each other, but also union of souls. This union of souls, needs to be open (to others), to be accepted with official ritual or ceremony. Marriage actually signifies not just “new certificate” or new right for expressing intimacy, but also new stage of spiritual life. Some important characteristics of marriage are:

-         spouses start to be responsible not only for themselves, but for each other. They have further obligation for bringing up their children.

-         Spouses should be aware they are now not “free pieces” but together in one bigger puzzle, called family.

-      Husband and wife need to show to each other all positive feelings of any couple: love, understanding, honesty, openness, support, acceptance, tolerance, compassion, passion, trust, believe, sharing;

-      Husband and wife (within spiritual marriage), have to admit their own mistakes, notice their own weaknesses, and not be fixed in weaknesses of another.

-         The married couple need to have equal spiritual, ethical, moral, or cultural values, in order to improve their life together;

-         The married couple have to pay attention first to the needs, passions and desires of his/her partner more than his own.

-         In case of misunderstanding or conflict within the marriage, both partners should admit what is “wrong” in the situation and from where it comes. They have to discuss things openly, and not to hide behind mask of acceptance.

-   Spouses in union need to feel, respect and understand values and individuality of each other, that’s why they have to be forgiving, but also aware of what they require.

-      Spouses need to feel love and attachment to each other, no matter of the conflicts of hard situations, and try to overcome difficult times together.

-         They have to be aware and admit if the values, principles or individuality of one of them changes, they have to admit feeling of “losing” trust, respect, losing love, coldness.

-    The couple (and that’s quite important), should be aware and express feelings of impossibility the marriage life to continue due to some of above reasons, and accept that.  

This is part one of my article on marriage, please continue to the second part... Feel free to like, share or leave a comment below, or ask a question! Thank you. 

nina Lea-nour *

angel`S medium 

@ 2018, Jan 

The Lovers -VI

      VI. The Lovers – (world of Unity, sphere of love)

The card represents love, union, harmony in relationships, and appears in sign of Gemini. Lovers also can have meaning of choice between two possible options, when you need to be clear and look deeper in your heart for the answers. Many Tarot decks have symbol of snake depicted in cards of Lovers – it represents the temptation and the possible falling in crossroad where person has to make decision. Depiction of snake also can be associated with story of Adam and Eve – their falling from grace of heaven into the material earth life, symbolized by earthly” love – physical aspects of love, desire, need passion. (not platonic love or friendship). Variations of this card are:

-         Physical attraction, love, harmony

-         Very intimate relationship, based on trust and mutual understanding

-         Deep desire, love, passion between couple/ marriage

-         Becoming clear with your own values, be true to yourself

-         Need to find the perfect soul mate, lover who will complement you

-        You need to take important decision in your life – on a crossroad, in that you need to take care of personal values and unconditional love

-        Examine your feelings, motives, personal values, before you take any decision.

-    Expect changes in your love life, or painful separation; let your heart guide you. 

Archangels: Chamuel, Zadkiel

Spiritual message: be open to unconditional love and forgiveness

Spiritual quality: forgiveness, inner strength 

nina Lea-nour *

angel`S medium