Monogamy and Synchronizing with your partner I

In this article I`ll observe very important question, that has different discussions and points in many religions, institutions, and psychological concepts – about humans monogamy and polygamy.
There are several views and concepts on that topic, as it can be seen from quite different perspective.

       In this article I have to define the terms monogamy and polygamy, and what ideas I connect them to. Monogamy is a relationship between two people, on mutual relationship as a couple, including sexual relationship, in aspect of partnership in long term; This relationship is connected with socially approved norms and behavior, and extended with having just one “marriage partner (or any kind of partner), in time and for all life.

Polygamy is relationship between two or more people, representing their relationship, including sexual aspects, as patterns from short or long term partnership, which is always related between three or more people. This kind of relationship could be extended in time, but its rarely linked with socially approved behavior and legality.

There is also the term called serial monogamy, which is having multiple relationships, at different times of life. I`ll discuss here the aspects of monogamy, polygamy and serial monogamy from higher energy perspective,  and human values.

So what we call “monogamy” is usually and mainly related with the aspect of “normality” and social norms, and one of the most underlined aspects of it are in the official marriage or partnership. Here we are viewing things out of the social norms and taboos, but with the elements of psychology of relationships. So I want to determine – monogamous relationships are formed and developed in cultural societies at later stage, as a form of observing exact social lows and norms. Cultural society needs to identify the couple and the instinct of having children in the single family, formed by mother, father and children. That’s how the social picture looks, which is growing throughout the historical periods.

The significance of that single family and children relationship becomes very strong in later times, with the significance of certain understanding about human moral values. In such way monogamous relationships are not only approved, but they remain the strongest pillars of family core. That’s also because of the fact, these relationship can be –stable, extended in time, and keep the same permanent status life long. In this way these monogamous relationships make social low and social relationships also in stable plane. One of the significant aspects of monogamy in society is – having just one and only one marital partner for the life. This will bring most stability in all other practical life spheres, as you wont be distracted by searching for another partner. Secondly the person is believed to be more devoted to bring up and educating his own children, if he is in stable monogamous partnership.

     That’s how the situation look from social perspective. There are many more sides to be considered.

     From psychological and spiritual perspective things look a bit different.

I have to determine, that the early humans were Not monogamous. They were practicing different kind of polygamous relationships, but also they were in need of adopting some restrictions, taboos and social practices. Polygamy is in fact related to the early stages of human DNA and was the real primal power and mind of early humanity. So humans are not monogamous by nature in history, but they are cultivated to develop to monogamous family core, because of social lows, taboos and restrictions. So monogamy is avoiding conflicts between sides, between couples (similarly to animal world fighting for females and territory). Monogamy in its deeper patterns and structure is not the primal state of humanity, and it is “build up” and strengthened with time. This state has positive and negative sides and effects on humans.

I`ll observe here in more details the negative or down sides of monogamy. First of all monogamous relationships start to gradually and steadily turn into “life long” socially approved partnerships (marriage), in which people stay in the couple (marriage) for all the life. The psychological pinpoint here includes the bringing up of children, that are normally to be just from one couple, and abnormally (extraordinary) to be from different couple. What that means? I ll give in example with case of people who are married two times and have children from both marriages (or relationships). Such cases exist, they are quite visible, but also they are not socially approved – the simple point is such cases are viewed as already memorable, strange or “brave”, as well as different than the social values. Not think about how many cases you know about person with 3 marriages or relationships, with children from all of them? And how many such marriages without children? You can see such cases will be even more rare, and that is so, because they are not socially approved or stimulated. That lies in many psychological reasons, including the state of human Ego, and acceptance.

nina Lea-nour *

m E d i u m