Social Anxiety III (How to overcome anxiety?)

     How to overcome social anxiety? (continues from part II)

     If we want to connect in positive way with others (social groups, family…) we have to accept and practice positive qualities of communication. – Vishudha chakra (throat) – honesty, openness, truth, integrity, sharing, speaking with kindness, compassion, tolerance, acceptance of others, accept different points, seeing things from bigger perspective, releasing need to be right, patience, being confident, having boundaries, accepting your vulnerability. All of these qualities will start to appear if we let the door for them open. (if we focus on intention to manifest this qualities).

      Looking closely to this problem – majority of people have social anxiety. That comes from factors as: living too closed and being only in harsh environment of the big city. 2. Being dishonest with their own desires and goals; and with others. 3. Wanting to hide they are vulnerable or hiding negative qualities. 4. Being not prepared to connect with others – or refusing to connect. 5. Being unable to see themselves as part of the social oneness. 6. Not having good boundaries with others, and allowing other people to steal from their energy and time. 7. Not being patient or tolerant in communication and refusing to see or accept another point of view. 8. Connecting in way of aggression and offence, not in way of kindness and compassion.

Remember -in order to achieve these qualities, you need not just to “want” them, but to let them work for you, by FOCUSING with intention on them. That’s how all process will start. You need to integrate first all of them in you, then you can expect to find them in others (society).

Most people in this spiritual level of Earth, just want to find qualities and things, as if they open a book and see colourful pictures. They want these pictures to be alive. But its not how it works. People need first to make thought – clear intention, and then to set it in motion. Realize what qualities you need to integrate, what you are missing.

The phenomena of social anxiety comes from missing something important, this is important part of yourself, and your social-self too. You think you have it, but its an illusion. Everyone thinks only they are right, that’s how people become even more divided.

The way 2 to overcome s. anxiety:

To not be afraid of judgement or misunderstanding. Be open to criticism. People are very different souls each with different life and past life experiences. Then how we expect to think in the same way? To feel in the same way? To connect in the same way? We just need to be open, and show others we are strong while we are vulnerable.

way 3 to overcome social anxiety:

Set all in action: start to communicate with all people, specially with the one you feel hard to! That’s the best exercise. Not to let others to manipulate you, but to see and feel what they really think, what is their mind. By connecting with many different people, you ll have multiple lessons, and multiple changes within your mind. You will understand a lot of different perspective, and also will not be easy to judge anyone different approach.

Way 4 to overcome social anxiety:

Try to think about people you don’t like or mistakes that other made against you, or mistreatment. Try now to answer the question why? Not what happened but why this person behaved so? Why is he feeling nervous, jealous, or behaved in aggressive way. You will find out that the main reason is not related to you personally, but to himself. He has hidden conscious or subconscious problem that needs to be solved. Who takes out sward, should expect to be killed by the same sward. That is absolute rule for how karma works. That’s how don’t think yourself as the victim of bad behaviour of someone. Know that his sward (or offensive words), are directed to him -in later stage, now or in future life. He will receive the same, as he is dealing with this weapon.

These are the basic elements about Social anxiety, and its causes and how to deal with it. Hope that article was useful and made you think more deeply.

Thank you for tuning in! Stay blessed in in the side of Divine Light.

© Nina* Lea-nour

    angel`s medium 

Social Anxiety II

      [ second part of Social Anxiety ] 

      The restrictions, laws, norms, create structure that all individuals to be happy and satisfied. But they don`t care about individuals as such (as SOULS), but only as body. That creates exactly the gap between “me as part of society” and Me as separate individual. I ll call the second my Soul-self, the first my Social-Self. The gap becomes bigger the more individual is grown and the more he has relations with society and all institutions. Because the Soul-self realizes his uniqueness, from one side, and his “mind freedom”, but also the Social-self realizes his uniformity, oneness and coexistence with others. So We are separate and in the same time we are part of all as One.

Exactly that view creates duality in human mind. And we cant understand duality, as we accept it as contradiction. In fact duality is very true, because it lies in the basis of the Earth plane. Each coin has two sides. Human body is related totally to energy of two -Ying, Yang. Genders by nature are also two.

    That’s how there is a gap between the souls feeling as unique Soul-self, separate, different, special, and complete – are coexisting with the feelings of merging of the Soul with others in Social-self – in crowds of groups, family, country, feeling of uniformity.  This gap is quite normal, but it creates uncertainty. In this level of spiritual evolution, people don’t understand it well, and it creates feeling of anxiety.

     Social anxiety is related to our view to others, and all range of emotions that others provoke in us, and that we provoke in others;  with way of communication and connection with others. With the way we are accepted, liked, loved. In the way our efforts are appreciated. In the way we love, appreciate efforts of others. In the way implementing positive connections with others. In the way of expressing negative qualities in connections with others. (example of such are if we speak to someone with kindness, show understanding, tolerance and balanced mood; and if we speak to others with anger, aggression, showing sadness or indifference to them…) All these aspects of communication matter for the growing of Social-Self.

Because we can be much aware (or try to be) of our Soul-Self, we feel our differences, and uniqueness, we know our weaknesses and strength, even we are mindful, we can be on a higher level as individuals. That means we can be spiritually advanced, if we realize where we are as a Soul. But in the same time people can be totally unaware their Social-Self, or they don’t recognize their Oneness with all, they don’t accept their social roles, or don’t feel they can be effective part of society. In this energy level of Earth, most people are not socially aware. They live just as soul-Self, no matter if mindful or not. That reflects in supressing the negative feelings, qualities from the Social-self, denying the Social oneness, and failing in good communication with others. That factors are basis of feeling of social anxiety – and depression.

As we live here as social-self most of the time, and that is related to our family life, cultural life, work and all things, we cant feel separated from it.

Social anxiety is created mostly because of the social masks syndrome. In any group and society, people tend to hide their faces, traits and qualities, because the instinctive fear to lose their freedom from others. People are vulnerable when they are together. They are vulnerable when they connect with each other, when they have relationships, family and friends, work environment. Because all these spheres may appear them as individuals, and activate the Social-self. That’s why each individual adapts social mask, which does not mean two-faced behaviour or lies. That means the Social self tries to prevent from being hurt or manipulated by others, or prevents seeing the negative qualities in him. Its natural no one wants to be seen in negative light.

    Wearing such mask from each one, suggests that no one shows their Soul-self (unique individual self) but all people try to show Social-self, which with the mask looks the fake one. In reality that social -self is just real self, but hidden and vulnerable self, that has fear from social judgement, and norms. That is self with many hidden aspects. For example in a job interview you don’t expose your Soul-self, or you don’t speak about your personal preferences. That`s why we need to accept as normal to have the social mask. But Not to have fake behaviour or fake feelings or fake connection with others. So that mask has limits.

The feeling of suppressed or hidden Soul-self in process of wearing the social mask, will create surely social anxiety. Here the key is to make balance between your personal values, and uniqueness, and acceptance of oneness with others. Trying to be part of social structure, means being Open to others, being vulnerable, being exposed in a way.

Thank you for tuning in! Feel free to share, or post a comment below. Continue to next part of the text ....

© Nina* Lea-nour

    Angel`s medium

   © Copyrighted text

Social Anxiety I

What is social anxiety?

 In this article I`ll observe shortly about the term Social anxiety, what common imbalances stay behind it and what are the root causes of it. 1. part. 

    This is phenomenon, closely related to human subconscious pattern and mind, connected with society, environment and cultural behaviour. Anxiety, as well as most destructive emotions (negative) have their primal imprint in the supressed feelings, emotions. There are many reasons for social anxiety, but the main pieces of puzzle, that show something is likely to become wrong, are connected with:

-       Supressed feelings and emotions

-      Being unable to express your desires and needs

-      Beings unable to figure out the reasons for your mistakes/ failures

-      Supressed or unwanted communication with others

-      Being exposed to too much criticism from others

-      Being exposed to harsh environment

-      Living long time in unhealthy relationships (habits)

…and many more. Almost all things and psychological imbalances can turn to anxiety, if they are long enough hidden.

      The key here is to reveal the hidden issue or situation that is reason for your imbalance. There is always a reason, but anxiety has roots exactly in hidden aspects of Self. Hidden negative aspects and emotions that the Self has supressed, in order to escape from a painful experience.

      That’s why the topic of social anxiety can be viewed in very wide perimeter. All things related to imbalance in organism of society can be connected with it. Society is a structure that is changeable and fixed in the same time. It includes component like social values, laws, behaviour, communications, restrictions, rules. It contains all that components on level of family relationships (family as a singular structure of particular society), religious and cultural aspects (religion or culture as regulating some social values), and wide social connections (including work environment, people, country laws, effective institutions). All of these circles are related to the bigger Sphere of social organism.

     Just individual alone is in status “free”, if he viewes only himself, separately from society. He has status “separateness” , singularity, individuality. In this way all individuals in one society are: 1. From one side determined as “separate” free individual elements, that have complete form (of the Soul -Body-mind). 2. From another side they are also little pieces from the bigger puzzles of social components – Family, work, society, country, culture -religion. That’s how each individual in this world is in fact “not free”, but can seek for his freedom a priory. His freedom is inner value of individual, but he is never free in reality -out of his personal values and desires.

Now as this article is dedicated to Social anxiety, I want to observe that condition, in light of that state of not-freedom, or restricted state of individual.

As I mentioned, society is big organism with many components, but it`s made up of millions pieces of individual souls (body-mind). So everyone, each soul put his stamp in the bigger picture of Society. People made family, companies, houses, institutions, laws, countries, environment, planet. So all of that components are connected all together like net. That is quite important.

     Individuals are living between each other, they are here in order to connect, to have effective/ or not effective communication, and to learn from each other.

     All systems that we live in, are based on principle of Society and Groups of people. That means individuals are chained as elements of that Societies since their early age – family, kinder garden, school, university, work, institutions, traveling. All kind of activities we make and intend are always -related to others. Even when we just buy things from market, shop we have to connect with the seller or owner. Its another question if this connection will be effective, positive or opposite. But it is there, we need to face others.

That is so, because in these social existence and connection is one of the main purpose of human life and meaning. Even people who are with special status – and accepted as “out of society” souls, like monks, nuns, hermits, or people that are on different spiritual practices, are also not away from society. They are connected together, also they are more or less connected with social religious values, rules, with obligations, and living necessities.

 People or individuals are like chain – everyone`s feelings, intentions, mindset, values, obligations, desires, actions, non-actions – affect others on that chain. Immediately. So that is in fact creating non-freedom. As freedom is a concept related more to Mind and soul, but cant be related to earth life, so its concept of illusion. Your mind can be free to imagine that you travel to many places, but for making that travel work in reality, you need to put more efforts and go through many social procedures.

That means also the non-freedom is not only created, but it`s here (earth plane) by purpose.

Social anxiety is closely related to that non-freedom existence. We are all free as individual souls, and in the same time we are not free or specially restricted as social elements. The existence of society as whole organism suggests the stamp of restrictions. That doesn’t mean we are not free still – as that is given to our soul essence a priory. But our freedom is also restricted from being in this body, and more from participating in social circles, social obligations, country.

    Some of the things that one country impose on all citizens are regulations, laws, and restrictions. They are related to all aspects of life without exception – for going to school, paying taxes, taking care of environment, having a flat, living under rent, having a car, using transportation….all these aspects are related with social regulations. They are also part of the individual non-freedom, even if they look like they are creating freedom.

The truth is a freedom created by someone (government, or institutions), is illusionary one. That is not the freedom as birth right. The country may aim to contribute to improvement of all aspects of life, but in reality that will happen only with more regulations and laws, more restrictions. Because that’s how society works.

Thank you for tuning in! This is the first part of my text on Social Anxiety, feel free to share it, like or post a comment below!

Nina* Lea-nour 

angel`s medium 

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