The
next amazing triad of the love-tree belongs to: faithfulness – forgiveness –
passion. These qualities are from higher order –forming the branches and
blossoms of the tree. They all are most important for growing exactly the
love-sort of tree, and not another.
Faithfulness – everyone knows what it
is, but how many have it really in their heart? Faithfulness is not given, but
learn from life and love lessons. It`s closely related to qualities as:
honesty, loyalty, honor, respect, faith, authenticity, devotion. To be faithful
to someone means to be strong and stable in your devotion to him, in your
personal values, and put him always in first place (in front of other people
and situations). It means also –to eliminate negative emotions, thoughts and pitfall
situations – that are hiding behind every corner in relationship – and say to
them “Go away”. Be confident and strong in your feeling so you can provide your
partner safety that he needs. Faithfulness builds the trust with time. Even so
trust as a feeling don’t come from the loyalty only – its learn and grown
inside of your heart from young age. If you have faith in yourself and your own
qualities – you can be also faithful, or have faithfulness of your partner.
Other qualities, that are much neglected in today society – respect and honor
(but not in Islamic style honor!) – are very important for growing the love
tree. Respect and honor for your love mate –means you cant have any thought of
betrayal or dishonesty, because you know this will hurt him, and put him down.
For that you should first respect and honor your own self. People without these
qualities cant be faithful.
Forgiveness- this is one aspect of the relationship communion, that is hardest
to achieve. Just by words anyone knows what forgiveness means and that we “have
to be forgiving”. But in reality this quality is not well manifested. This comes
from the inability of humans to love “unconditionally”. They always put their
selfish ideas and masks, specially in love relations. They are not empathetic
to others –means its hard for them to be really forgiving. Forgiveness comes
together with qualities like: compassion, understanding, tolerant, hopeful, feel
the way other is feeling, touching the heart of another. Moreover forgiveness
comes with a doze of sacrifice. Example: a mother always will forgive her
naughty child, if he broke an expensive crystal vase by mistake! A mother will
be nervous, but will forgive the child
for his bad marks in the school. Moreover – mother will even forgive and defend
her criminal son who made an explicit crime (which cases are many to be found
around !). This is example of unconditional love. Yes, you will say –here we
speak about another kind of love – between man and woman; exactly that`s why I
said – the forgiveness is not easy to be achieved, in any case of betrayal.
This is not your mothers heart. But if you reached to the higher spiritual
vibration, if you let your heart to be open and flowing –you ll have also
forgiveness as one of the highest principles. Why? Here is the simple answer!
All is written before us, and nothing is new in the universe. Should I be
forgiving for another? Why? If I found my partners betrayal I can condemn her
and our relation will fall apart. About the end or continuing of your
relationship in this case –everyone is free to decide what to do, as everyone
is in unique situation –only he knows what to do.
But
no matter of falling apart, forgiveness will make your heart out of pain, out
of negative feelings like anger, hatred, jealousy, depression. This is the
healing potion for your heart and mind! I`ll answer here the question why. Forgive
and you`ll be forgiven –is the short answer. The next step is forgive and Let
go. By letting go of sad events – you ll make space in your heart for divine
energy. Love and you`ll be loved –in divine way. As we said forgiveness comes
from unconditional love. Your heart should be open, as well as your Mind. See
other as you see yourself. This is the way. (New Testament, John (8:7) tells
the story of Jesus, saving one fallen woman from death by stoning. Jesus said:
“He who is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her”. This is
showing amazing courage, love, strength in heart of Jeshua to save the life of
a poor and sinful woman. Yes, moreover she was not his relative, or close to
him; this was unknown woman, fallen in trap of sin. Only a strong,
compassionate heart can defend such people. (until today it is the same).
Reaction
of Jesus in these ancient times are now unknown and not discussed, even
disliked from many Muslim groups, who still participate the stoning punishment
(Iran, Saudi Arabia) or beheading punishment. This is a clear sign of barbaric
society, not understanding or following any human values –let alone love and
compassion. Killing and violence are best values for them. (I speak about
groups and not of all Muslims here, some may not identify with these killing
laws, but still they are fact in Sharia).
I
return back to the topic of forgiveness, about Sharia I`ll write in separate
text. Jesus shows in deeds and words how to be forgiving, and what is that
mean. Forgiveness is opposite of violence, corruption, destruction, judgment,
fear. Forgiveness means – strength, courage, confidence in once abilities,
love, peace, faith. That’s why is one of the highest principles in love-trees.
I
want to explain now clearly what is forgiveness and how we make acts of
forgiveness. Some people may think forgiveness is stupidity, and equal to “let
someone who betray our trust and love, to do it many times again without
consequences for him, and hiding our sadness". That’s simply wrong. When you forgive
someone, just you by yourself can decide if you want to remove the love tree –
if its wilted, or to broke your relationship, or to give your lover second
chance. The second chance is always something good, but only if you have
forgiveness in your heart. If you cant reach to this stage –that means you have
to separate. Forgiveness means to accept the person and situation as it is,
without holding negative feelings and judgment to it. The best way is to turn
to yourself in the mirror – the same as Jesus did and ask your reflection: am I
free from sins and do I have the right to cast a stone now? If you feel you are
free and able to throw stones - do as you like; remember that – if you judge,
you`ll be judged. Many examples show that.
To
let flower of forgiveness bloom inside you –means you are cleansing yourself
from all bad memories and negative emotions that will stop your own spiritual
way. And something more. If not you, who done infidelity and betrayal, why
should you be affected and worried for deeds of others? Is it not better for
you to feel, that actually your partner, who is guilty, is aware of that and
suffers much more than you? is it not better to find out the real causes for
that and why this happened? When you search well, you`ll find that in one
relationship, never only one person has the whole blame for an event. Always
two parts are involved. If you cant forgive –then also you wont forgive
yourself. That ll lead to many more chain – consequences and repeated events in
your life.
Forgive
and forget. What means to forget? Again you are wrong if you think forget means
to really erase all memories of something happened. No, it would be hard to do
that –you are not a record. You have the memory always with you, and that’s how
you have basis for learning and growing. Forget means to not cling to the sad
events from the past, and transfer them into the future by not letting them go.
Forget means to not hold negative feelings and judgment to these events and
people, to let them be on their way in free heart, to let them continue their
development. You cant do more than this. You are to blame also – so turn to
yourself, think and realize your mistake. Turn to the partner and see what
qualities you should avoid, that you find in him. And have an honest
conversation with him, talk, ask, understand! What leads him on this way?
You`ll soon find out.
Whatever
the reason is, human is complicated creature with having to handle both
physical impulses and spiritual energies. So be merciful to humans, still not
knowing how to fly!
[ nina Lea-nura * ]
1214
